The plan to be free part 2

It was determined that the soon to be King and Queen would spend time apart, to clear their heads, and refrain what was rightfully theirs. All of the sudden, once there was no one telling her what to feel any more, the Princess remembered what it was like to feel for herself. And her heart was broken, shattered into pieces. She finally knew. Suddenly overcome by confusion and sadness, her weeps turned into sobs. Unlike the prince, the princess was all to familiar with dark and confusing feelings like these. Long ago, before the prince had ever arrived, she swore on her grave she would never let herself feel that way again. Now here she was years later, facing those feelings she worked so hard to destroy. The one who claimed to love her the most was the cause of the emotional quake. So what was she to do? Forgive and say it’s ok, I understand? Or run away and stick to the promise on her grave? The prince was aware of the feelings and thoughts of his soon to be Queen, and he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to help, because those dark and dreary feelings followed him like a shadow and that was all he had to bring. He promised he would dismiss them. That they would be gone and never to return, but that was a lie. The princess had learned long ago to never make a promise about those dark feelings to another, because they don’t belong to anyone but to the one who is feeling them. No one can save you from them, no one can change them, no one destroy them but you. And the prince couldn’t, he wouldn’t, because he made the decision to change for another. Not for himself. So he lied. He lied to keep his princess. He kept the lie going as long as he could, until he couldn’t breathe. While gazing into the starlit night sky, he wished on a star that the Princess wouldn’t leave. That she would understand why he did, what he did. He hoped she would forgive him, and that happily ever after would be their’s.

The thing about life, is that it has a tricky way of sneaking up on you. What once seemed right, can all the sudden seemed wrong. The princess discovered his lie, before the prince confessed. Whether she will admit it or not, there is speculation that she knew what she had to do. She just didn’t want to believe it was true. If she stayed with the prince she would break her promise to herself. More importantly if she stayed, the prince wouldn’t have a chance at living. There was a life lesson that the Prince did not quite understand, and ultimately that is why the princess left. The Prince did not know how to live his life for himself. He could live it for the his mother, the Queen. His father, the King. Or his love, the princess. He loved them each very much, but he didn’t love himself. The most important one of all. He was so consumed in every other person in his world, and what he couldn’t control, that he forgot what he could control. And before he realized it, he lost control of that too.

The princess couldn’t take it anymore. She refused to watch the one she loved destroy himself, and refuse to be helped. One night after everyone in her palace fell asleep. She made a plan. She titled it,”The plan to be free.” It wasn’t just a plan for her sake, but for his too. The next day at tea, she left her castle grounds, and made the hardest most courageous decision she could. She wrote the prince a letter. This is what she said:

“My dear Prince. I love you. Because I love you I must leave. Not to cause you harm, but to save you from it. You deserve to live life for you. Not for me, not for the Queen. But for you. I have watched you cry silent tears of confusion, and loneliness for too long now.  You must decide when they stop. I can’t do it for you. The longer I stay, the longer you wait. Because now you feel safe. You feel like you can stop. You stopped trying long ago. Life is not about stopping. Life is about beginning. I seem to be the one stopping you. And you are the only one who can begin.

You have told me my favorite lies. You have been my favorite lie. You must love yourself, before you can love me, or anyone else for that matter. One day there will be a princess in a different land, who will see you struggles, and shortcomings. But by then they will be mountains that have been overcome, and stories of victory. Not stories of defeat. How I wish I was the one to hear them, but being the one to begin them must do.”

While she ran deep into the forrest to begin her journey, tears streamed her face. She wished and hoped the ending would be different. But she knew this is what must be done. As she walked the flower lined path towards the forrest, she wondered what the prince was thinking. Did he understand? Did he care? Was he relieved? Was he afraid? Did he love her enough to come find her in the deep and dark forrest? Or was he really that scared of his dreadful shadow? She walked, and she walked….and the prince never came. She walked and she walked and she realized all at once. That now she was free. No longer trapped by someone else’s pain. No longer mistaken, for trying to heal hurt that wasn’t hers. She was free. She could breathe. She was sad, and confused. Life wasn’t the way she had planned. But life was her adventure. She did not need to be affected by someone else’s mistakes. She had thought for so long that she knew what she wanted. But the prince had taught her that life is unafraid to shower you with twists and turns that seem unimaginable. The part that she was learning on her own was that, some bring joy and some bring sadness. But that is just life. And you can choose how to handle it. The prince chose to let the sadness consume him, drown him almost. With the expectation for the princess to be the full time lifeguard. But the  princess couldn’t do that. She barely did it for herself. So she chose to handle life with adventure. With happiness, and a smile in her eye. To seek out the good, and not let the bad cling too tightly.

Where is the prince now? No one really knows. The hope is that he was brave enough to let himself begin, and learn what it means to love yourself, so that you can properly love another. As for the Princess… She begin her journey to happiness once again.  She began a new life for herself. Unexpected completely, and not what she had hoped for, but one where her feelings could be hers. It was one where she could breathe, no longer pulled into the deep waves of sorrow. She was now pulled into the waves of hope, and dreams. Where she had always wanted to be. She thought about the prince from time to time. But then she remembered the lies. Her favorite lies, in fact, and they gave her the strength to swim deeper into the sea of dreams.

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