It’s been a minute since I’ve composed a post….(try A LOT of minutes). Life gets really crazy when you forget to stay organized, and prioritize. I have found myself forgetting what makes me happy. I get so caught up in my to-do list for the day, and making sure all the people that I love are happy.Between work, and school, and getting MARRIED. (Yeah you read that right!) life was consuming every part of me, and I haven’t touched the brakes in what seems like an eternity. There are some friends I haven’t seen in months, and projects started and no where near finished piled up everywhere around me. I was telling my husband just yesterday how there is so much I want to do, and even more I want to be, but it feels like there is never enough time, or I don’t have enough energy to get there. Even if I could summon the energy to tackle the bucket lists, and inspiration boards I’ve complied over the years, there is a new found thief in my way that I’ve never met. Some of my closest people are acquainted with this thief. I’ve always given them advice as to how to make it go away, but all of the sudden I see how naive I must have sounded. This may sound strange but in my silly years of teenager-ness, I assumed that as soon as I was married, and an adult, with my own car, and my own house, and seemingly established….these self esteem problems would stop eating at me. I’d be able to put down the security gates I’ve so carefully woven around myself, and live life with no fear of failure and no need for second chances. Because by then I’d have everything together…right? But my oh my, have I been proven wrong. I am now married, and an adult. With my own car, and cute little home I share with my husband. As much I was would like to say that my specially crafted security coverage has retired, I regret to inform you they have only just begun.
When there is a spare second to breathe, and get lost in something that makes me happy, it’s almost like there is a buzzer in my head that goes off and reminds me that maybe my idea isn’t as good as that other person’s whose already blogged about that. Or that my picture isn’t quite perfect enough to compete with blogs like mine. Or that idea is way to out of the box for anyone to take it seriously. So I just stopped. I gave up. I walked away from the blog, and from a lot of creative aspects of my life, because I didn’t measure up to the definition of “good enough” in my head. I had a distraction at the time, ahem the now husband, and I really wanted things to work out with that cute boy. So that was what needed my attention anyway. Well the boy is mine forever now, and I couldn’t be more grateful. But here I am with self esteem security gates that need a little fix, and a sore heart that needs a major reality check. As much as I love reminding those I love that they are more then deserving of living life to their grandest expectations, I have forgotten to remind myself that I am just as deserving. As heart breaking as it may be, I know I’m not the only one who has created the art of comparison in their minds. And in case you weren’t aware, I’ll break it to you with all the love in my heart: MOST EVERYONE YOU KNOW IS COMPARING THEMSELVES TOO. So knock it off, and go do something that reminds yourself of your worth, and the worth of those around you. With all this sadness, bitterness, and fighting in the world maybe we should try and be a little kinder to ourselves. Then in turn a little kinder to our neighbor. One of my favorite quotes talks about how important it is to be kind to one another, because you have no idea the battle that person may be fighting.
I want to help spread the kindness to you and your neighbors! If you follow my Instagram page you may have noticed that a while back I started a small little photography business (in my attempt to not let that stupid comparison thief win). Comment on this post, or my Instagram post with someone you think deserves a mini photo shoot and why you think they do! Your best friend, your favorite person, your mailman, someone you love who hasn’t had some updated family pictures in a while….. whoever! Be the one to make their day, and tag them in your comment. Let’s spread some kindness around! (Giveaway only for those in the Southern California or Utah area)
Also…wanted to show off that cute boy 🙂